Friday, February 13, 2009

Happy "Balemtime's" Day!

That's how Ashlyn used to say Valentine's. I still think it's the cutest thing.

Britney and I have never really celebrated Valentine's Day. He always told me he didn't need a "certain day" to tell me how much he loved me. It bothered me at first, but he did a pretty good job of making sure I knew he loved me every day, so I got over it.

Our marriage has gotten so much stronger in the last 2 years. Being here, on our own, without our parents or other family members to run to when things get hard or we need to "escape," we've had to stick together and work things out. Ironically, I would say we've had fewer disagreements and arguments. Sometimes it's hard not to have that escape, but I wouldn't trade the way my marriage is now for anything.

Over the last year, we've seen couples go through various separations. Remember my posts about the Spittles? They were separated for weeks, but they were following God's plan for their family by adopting two more children. Watching them come back together at the airport was heart-wrenching! It was bittersweet to see the joy and the pain that that separation brought. And to witness the love that the whole family has for each other.

We've had other friends who also separated this year. Sometimes it was purely selfish motives, sometimes it was out of necessity. Some of them have gotten back together. Some of them we're still praying for that to happen.

As we've had conversations about all of these situations, the one thing that Britney and I always come back to is that we made a covenant before the Lord - for better or worse until death do us part. Neither of us takes that lightly. And because we've seen the struggles and successes of our friends this year, Britney decided it was time to celebrate Valentine's Day together. To reinforce that bond that holds us together.

So, whether your marriage is rock-solid or feels like it's on shifting sand, take tomorrow to make sure your partner knows that you are committed to that covenant that you also made before the Lord. Tell them you love them and then work on ways to show them that love that really speaks to them. The difference can be in the tiniest detail like making the bed or it can be in something huge like saying I'm sorry for a hurt that happened so many years ago. Whatever it is, take the time to figure out your spouse and then do it. Remember something my mother always told me: Actions speak louder than words!

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